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Finding a Welcoming Parish


If you're anything like me, you've had a point where you struggled to find a new Catholic Church. When I moved to a new city for the first time in years, I wasn't just asking, "Where do I go?" But a deeper question of, "What am I even looking for?"


There's a balance between hoping to find the "perfect" place and knowing when you've found a parish that's right. The framework here is meant to tease out what you're looking for in a Church and to guide you in finding a good Church community.


This is written from my own experience as a gay Catholic and speaks primarily to LGBT+ individuals. However, I've found that these basic principles also apply to anyone looking for a more welcoming and expansive Church within Catholicism.


Whether you're exploring the faith for the first time or hoping to be deeply involved in your parish, may this be helpful on your journey. Know you're not alone.


Ask yourself:

  • What am I actually looking for in a church? A place to celebrate the sacraments, certain expectations around preaching, particular music, a place for kids, somewhere that feels inclusive, something else?

  • How important is distance? Would you drive 30–40 minutes for the right fit, or do you need something close by?

  • What do I need from the community? A specific LGBTQ+ group, a young adult group, or just feeling like you can show up as you are?

  • How out do I want to be? Fully open, out to a few people, or just watching for now?

  • What level of involvement do I want, at least to start? Just showing up at Mass, helping with the liturgy, or volunteering in the community.

  • What are my dealbreakers or things that would make me leave? No single church will be perfect, but it's helpful to know what you won't tolerate going in or must have in a church.


Check out the New Ways Ministry's list of LGBTQ-welcoming Catholic parishes: It's not comprehensive, but it's a good place to start. Please note: parish assignments change, so some churches may be on that list that are no longer welcoming. If you find that to be the case, please email New Ways Ministry to help update the list.


If there are no churches near you on the list, here are a few helpful tips:

  • Ask for recommendations. If you know Catholics in your area, ask them what their experience has been like in different Churches. You can also join the Empty Chairs Online Community through Discord and see if there are people near you to connect with.

  • Is the parish active in social justice work? That's often a sign it's more welcoming to LGBT+ people.

  • What's your sense of the language on the website? Does it read like all are welcome, or like there's a particular kind of person they're looking for?

  • Get to know the Church in person. It can be helpful to spend time in a parish and meet people before coming out to the priest and asking point-blank if you’re welcome. Before stepping into what could be a vulnerable and difficult conversation, see if it’s even a community you want to be a part of.

  • Give a nearby parish a chance. There are pockets of welcoming community in unexpected places.

  • Take care of yourself, and trust your gut. Finding a new parish—especially after you've experienced hurt or rejection from the Church –is vulnerable. Take the time you need. You never have to force yourself to belong somewhere that isn't a good fit.


If you need help, want someone to talk through this with, or have a welcoming parish you want others to know about, don’t hesitate to reach out.



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